Malbridge House

September 9, 2008

I need 25 hours in a day.

I’ve been wanting to post for about five days but we’ve been so busy. We’re back to schoolwork with avengence, four mornings a week, I must admit Callum started with the "I’ve done enough" this morning so one week into HE and I’m saying the " back to school" thing already.

I’ve been trying to catch up with washing but with all the rain it’s been hard, I’m one of the few that doesn’t actually have a tumble dryer, one day I will catch up to the 21st century! So it’s all been on an airer, then today I did quite a bit of ironing, I thought I was going to see the bottom of the basket, which hasn’t happened since I don’t know when, I’m so sad I was getting excited over it, after all a girl has got to get her excitement when and where she can!! But unfortunately Cody woke, so the iron and board had to go away, with a little pile of creased clothes left.

My Mum is in Italy at the moment, for those of you who don’t know I’m a quarter Italian and very proud of it. My Grandad was Italian, but when she married the English side of the family being typically English wouldn’t have a lot to do with the Italian side, after all they are across the water and eat funny food!!

My Nan and Grandad have passed away, my Mum decided abut four years ago to get in touch with the Italian side, firstly by letter and then she went over to see them, she stayed at , now I’m trying to work out what relation he would be to me so hold on, he’s my Mums cousin, so he’s mine once removed or even a second cousin, I’m not sure how it works. Anyway she stayed with Mauro and his parents, they looked after her really well,  I was so delighted that we were in touch and so grateful to them for looking after my Mum that Soloman’s middle name is Mauro and Cody’s is Orlando who is my Mums Uncle, he and his family were also lovely to my Mum.

Mum and Mauro particularly have stayed in touch and Mauro commented on my blog when I first started it, Eden stays at Mums a lot and talks to Mauro on MSN and also to his niece and nephew who are around the same age as her. 

There were plans for Eden to go there with Mum to meet them all, but unfortunately Mauro became ill, the doctors can do no more for him, my Mum wanted to go and see him and by the sounds of it has only just got over there in time, he’s not got long left, he’s got cancer, I’m not sure where, a lot gets lost in translation.

Mauro is only a few years older than me, and he’s been on my mind a lot over the past few weeks, Mum says that everybody is understandably very unhappy over there.

He’s made me think of my own mortality, especially with such young children. He’s made me think of peoples behaviour, mine included, the recent problems that we’ve had with our neighbours, the resentment that I feel towards them, lack of money, nice furniture, times when the children drive me mad. He’s made me think of putting things in perspective.

It was my Dads birthday last Friday, he died eight years ago, he would have been one year away from retirement this year. I miss him dreadfully and I know how different my life and the childrens lives would have been with him still in it.

All of this has been on my mind, I wouldn’t say that I wasn’t a deep thinker it’s just that I really don’t get time.

There’s not really a point to this post other than I’m amazed at the feelings I feel for a man I’ve never met, maybe I feel these things because he’s been so very kind to those close to me and I also know how cancer totally disregards age, how nice a person you are, it doesn’t care what responsibilities you have, what you have planned for the future and it certainly doesn’t worry about the people you leave behind.

I don’t want to depress people, I just wanted to write down my feelings, at times they totally overwhelm me and I really want to try to use them to make me a better person, to try and appreciate those around me, the things that I’ve done and the things that I hope to do.

4 Comments »

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  1. I can relate to so much of this post, even getting excited by all the laundry being done!

    It’s not ‘odd’ to be thinking about someone you haven’t met in person, especially if you are actually related. (I do it all the time, so it must be normal!) Taking ’stock’ of our lives and seeing what we want to change/improve/feel grateful for/to make plans for the future, etc… is very normal, and healthy, reaction when we know of someone who is dealing with a fatal illness.

    As to your Dad, I know that feeling all too well. Just relish all the memories you have-share them with the kids, and then he’ll live forever.

    Comment by Elizabeth — September 11, 2008 @ 10:10 pm

  2. Thanks Elizabeth, we do talk about my Dad all the time, but I never thought of it as him living on forever, that’s such a nice thought.

    Comment by Administrator — September 12, 2008 @ 9:05 am

  3. Awwww bless you darling, sending lots of empathy and hugs. xxx

    Comment by dawny — September 15, 2008 @ 11:51 pm

  4. Rats. It took me so long to write this comment around school and things that it wouldn’t let me post.
    I was just saying how sorry I was about Mauro and all. We had an aunt turn up we never knew existed a couple of years ago and what a treasure she has been! Finding relatives is a wonderful thing, but life being cut short is simply a tragedy. So sorry for all of you, and I hope you keep making more contacts in Italy.

    Comment by OhLookADuck — September 24, 2008 @ 6:51 pm

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